I’ve been using the tactic soft forums for some time now. Since supermevhs was still a mini game within battledawn. Since the old forum was filled by figures long gone. Since I was that annoying 11 year old posting low quality shit posts in every thread (if you don’t know who that is now, it’s probably you). In my time I’ve made many friends and some enemies too. I’ve done some things I’m proud of, some things I’m not proud of. And today I’ll make a post explaining myself for some of those actions in both categories.
Things I apologise for
Provocative posts / flame war initiation
Sometimes I have knowingly made posts to provoke others and cause conflict. Perhaps I have been too quarrelsome or provocative in certain threads where contentious topics were raised and I said things to push certain buttons and wind up those who I felt worthy of being wound up. However, I understand that in doing so I lost any moral high ground and contributed willingly to a hostile atmosphere and the fostering of a “toxic” environment on the forum. It was motivated out of spite and grudge to those who, without naming names, had on a personal level deeply insulted me at some time and had themselves contributed to a mutual grudge that snowballed and spiralled into an ugly spectacle which I now acknowledge must be dismantled and left behind. I’m sorry for the part I played in this.
Counter productive commentary on updates and features
Though I, like most, am unhappy with the direction the game has taken I too often have participated in petty jabs and facetious remarks which did nothing but put added distance between an already estranged relationship between developer and community. Too often would I give into rage and bash developers for their, admittedly misguided, efforts when I could have chose a more constructive and productive way to make the same point. For that I am also sorry.
Lewd drunken behaviour
It’s no secret that I enjoy a drink. And indeed that’s my god given right as a Scot and a British citizen. However my extreme and wanton displays of drunken rage and inappropriate behaviour can not be excused. It was wrong of me to act in such a way in a forum so largely populated by underage children. I’m sorry for any negative influence such behaviour has had. That said, I am not as certain unnamed parties purport, a junkie looking for their next hit off of whatever legal high I can scrounge or scrape together. I am perfectly adjusted and in control of my own life.
Things I will not apologise for
Defending Michelle (bestplayeroftheworld)
Many have written negative messages and posts directed at me in opposition to my association with Michelle. I shall never apologise for this. While she may appear crude or hostile or unreasonable to you who have failed to look past your bias I know personally how sweet and well intentioned this person truly is. She is passionate and hot headed but only because she so readily defends her friends and those who would defend her in return. She is a loyal and loving person who has been tarnished and viciously slandered by this community at large. I shall never apologise for defending this person.
Defending HTK / rebuking slander
On a similar note I shall never apologise for refuting however viciously the many falsehoods fallacies and fabrications that circulate like gutter gossip around this community about my clan. So often are we portrayed as arrogant of character, caniving cheats who abuse some imagined influcnece with developers for handouts and advantages in the realm of forum mediation or in game. These lies are a poison and I will never apologise for defending the most honourable, spirited and powerful clan supermechs has thus far seen.
Some of you may wonder the motivation for such a heavy and serious post. The fact is I have turned 20 and wish to behave more maturely while on this forum and in fact I intend to distance myself from it all together. I am wearing myself from this forum little by little and the only posts I intend to make here are constructive ones not of a snidey or malicious nature as I have done in the past. Furthermore, I have found a personal connection and relationship with god and have found through him that such inadequacies in my behaviour can no longer be tolerated.
Thanks for reading.